Chhoti si Asha

As usual, it was refreshing hear the clanky grungy almirah open. With frail quivering hands my ageing mother lifted an ornately decorated necklace; " पूरी  ज़िन्दगी महनत की है  इस दिन के  लिए. एक एक पाई जुटा दी. बस एक ही छोटी आशा है, एक क्यूटी क्यूटी गुडिया दे दे ना ". Another bahurani is about to join us. Mom, a radiologist and real estate investor, is eager to find gratification in another set of grandchildren. Dotty is now almost a young lady. My brother is planning to deliver on his filial obligation. This is a strange time for us. When I was 15, I thought we would all be loosely knit family. We would all be settled in different timezones and would rarely ever meet. Our parents were both working people with diverging interests, and if that was not enough, our generation resisted indoctrination into either. Maybe it is unfamiliarity that generated respect. We tried the cosmopolitan mix-n-match approach and over the 8 years or so that followed, realized, like many others in our generation, that family meant a lot more to us, more than we might ever have imagined. So here we are, I quit my job and my first world lifestyle to return and take charge of family matters. It is something most of us Indians miss in foreign lands. With my mom, I have a common interest in real estate investment and in farming. It has been years since I met my adoring chachis and loving cousins - I wonder if they still look up to me for career and business ideas - I remember brainstorming the prospects of a clandestine love affair, two marriage proposals - both sisters, and hearing out on career plans. I remember Rina wanted to be a Harvard MBA and Bina wanted to be an architect. Regardless of how my suggestions affect people, it is nice to have a say. Most importantly though, I am back because I want Mom to have dotty around. Her face lights up when she sees my daughter. Suvidha, a corporate executive, enjoys my mom's godmotherly encouragement in career matters.  We are waiting with doting eyes to be joined by a woman, and in the near future, a child. Sometimes, you search the whole world for happiness and find it in your own backyard.

National integration, then and now

The national integration ad titled 'Mile Sur Mera tumhara' by Piyush Pandey and Louis Banks (music) has not quite faded from memory though it appears only rarely on DD - you would be lucky to see it:
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- I find funny Narendra Hirwani's representation of Sindhis. Tanuja waving her Maharashtrian flag when she actually married into a bengali family is quite funny too, but that might well be part of the idea - Mallika Sarabhai appears as a gujarati - despite her quintessentially nehruvian background and her rigorous tamil brahmin indoctrination into baratnatyam. Another, a little less callow ad film featuring athletes can be found on yt, in case you ever watched DD and are in retro mood :


A new breed of commercial film makers and musicians has been using national integration themes to sell cell phone plans in globalized india. Among these is Birla's Idea network ad with Abhishek Bachan :

Home sweet home

Waking up in Dheeraj's room, to which I had been assigned, was one of the most pleasant experiences I had in the summer of 1996. Taking the trip up 101 to bucolic Sonoma county, I had arrived at my aunt and uncles' beautiful home. This was my first summer in the silicon valley at the end of my very first year away from parents in India. For an year, I tried my best being an active resident of  a 'five ihstar' community in Fremont, mingling with Indian couples, playing volleyball with the oracle gang and taking trips to Half moon bay every odd weekend. Sometimes, I swam in the mini pool, a 1000 laps an hour. Sometimes, I took a yoga class, and some other times, I hit the bookstore, starbucks in hand. Sometimes, I went to the indie movie theatre, ingurgitating 'cinema of class', sometimes, I called upon friends and some other times, I tapped my keyboard in vain, hoping to find a soulmate. I needed to cosy in as one did with family. I was not too uncomfortable here - it did not feel like a foreign land - but the only substitute for family is another family, possibly your own. So, when masi showed me into Dheeraj's room, with it's untouched clean white linen, I felt like I had returned to my bearings. I threw my backpack onto the spongy mattress; it was quiet enough that I could hear it bounce, and retired early that night, feigning exhaustion, and pretended to sleep off in my Indian night clothes. Half awake, I thanked my aunt for giving me a private room under their roof. The next day was like any other; my uncle and I hit the gym and played some tennis, did rounds of the wine county, all the while listening to Masaji's interesting stories about his Italian collaborator, his credit union presidency and so on.


Now that I have returned home to Mumbai, after about 10 years working in the industry, I recognize that weekend as a revelation. My mom here has dedicated two rooms to me and my brother. They have bought a large apartment in a quiet, though upcoming, suburb of Mumbai, considering our possible future requirements. Me and my younger brother might want to move back, consummating our techie/banking exploits in foreign lands, to settle down back in a joint family. A large bedroom is for me and a study cum bedroom is my brothers. On the walls are preserved our old pictures, and in the closets, I can find some sturdy old jackets, in the drawers, I see my old notepads and CD's. How good it is to have a place you can call home. For this, I feel blessed. But it does not end at that. My mom promised me about 3 lakhs or 6000 USD startup expenses for my marriage, almost double that amount in gold ornaments to be given to the bride, and  she also has a list of prospective women lined up to accept that golden deal. Ditto for bro. Isnt that mindblowing ?

Countryside beckoning

  I met Sulakshana 'teacher' again. She taught me in school, about 25 years ago. Her aunt ran a playschool where I and my then 5 year old bro were kept when mom and dad had other things to attend to. She kept in touch after marriage as well, which was with a brokerage analyst Mr Saurabh. We had a few things in common. We liked dogs - she had helped me pick a pom when I was 12, and suggested a Doberman for my 15th birthday.

  I heard from her that Mr Saurabh now lives in a farm near Nasik, with 18 dogs and a wind turbine for company. He has a few local boys to help him with his daily chores. I am curious now if this is a legitimate epilogue to a Walls Street career. Next holiday, Sue and I plan to drive down to this Nasik farm and spend some time shooting doves.

Coffee with the Malhotras

The Malhotras were known to us through my aunt who is their family doctor. I had taught Riya when she was in high school. Not much had changed in their luxirous Hiranandani Gardens duplex. The sofas, the television were as they had been 10 years ago. Rekha aunty maintains a pooja room and affiliates with the hare krishna mission. Mr. Malhotra, an almost enigmatic presence, runs his manufacturing business from Pune, or so I hear. Riya, who has grown up a little, confesses her lack of interest in papa's business. ' I really want to be an actress', she says. I take a sip from my coffee and nod in agreement. Riya grew up knowing Shah Rukh Khan personally in Bandra. 'SRK's sister is a very good friend of mine' she adds, before I have a chance to pontify - any well meaning elder would point out various advantages of a life in theatre or dress design over the precariousness of bollywood. Rekha aunty adds, while refuelling my coffee guzzlejug, ' How many times have I told Ree to take an easier career path like fashion. Look at her paled physique. She smokes to stay slim'. I do not condescend on women who smoke but smile hard just in case my cheekbones indicate otherwise. I ask the acting-fashion graduate if she had considered any alternatives; a career in fashion as her mom would like, or perhaps, even mass media communications. She says that the latter is a possibility - she has written to channel V and she considers VJ'ing to be an exciting prospect. My coffee mug looks empty and I am about to leave. Ree promises to send me her portfolio in case I had contacts in bollywood.

What is happening with the Malhotras used to be unusual among middle class families; it was always a tell tale sign of upward mobility. That a family is a sum of three different individuals might be a rather normal malady in the west but in India, only the very wealthy suffer from such afflictions. Rekha aunty, who comes from an erudite academic family, would rather wish they all lived together and pursued spirituality. Mr Malhotra, on the other hand, insists they would rather indulge with individual pursuits, and Ree, confused about what is right, is smoking cigarettes, although, she adds in favor of her good morals, she does not have a boyfriend. As India marches into the 21st century, many Indian families find themselves embroiled in the chore of conflict resolution at home. Can Indians handle western standards of independence or might we need to adapt western culture intelligently, so as to optimize its good effects ? It is clear that tossing kids in a hammock of enduring family bonds is desirable but to what extent aspiring parents can compromise their individual convictions or aspirations is something they would rather find out in advance.

kya bebo ban saktee hain ek acchee stepmom

लव बिर्ड्स सैफ अली और करीना के बीच आयी दरार

क्या सैफ अली खान की प्रेमिका करीना कपूर सैफ के बच्चों से जमा पाएंगी ताल मेल (सैफ-बेबो). फ़िल्मी ज़िन्दगी में पिता की प्रेमिका की भूमिका निभाने वाली करीना क्या असल ज़िंदगी में ले पाएंगी यह जिम्मा. सैफ जिन्होंने तारा रम पम और थोडा प्यार थोडा माजिक जैसी पिक्चरों  में पिता का किरदार निभाया है, आज सोच रहे हैं की उनके बच्चों को किस किस्म के पालन पोषण  की ज़रुरत है. करीना के बर्ताव से त्रस्त  दोनों ने बच्चों के मामले पर झगडा किया और हाल ही में पता चला है की दोनों ने बात करना तक छोड़ दिया है. क्या बेबो फिर से सैफ और बच्चों का दिल जीत पाएंगी ? या फिर इश्क की सीमायें पार होती नज़र आ रही हैं.

Who could have thunk ?

The Chopras, Madhu, Priyanka and Ashok

with bro Siddharth

Young Priyanka

She is there, finally. 'Desi girl' Priyanka Chopra, also known in bollywood as PC or 'Piggy Chops', is the most kissable star in India. Director Siddharth Anand did a marvelous job directing her in 'Anjaanee. Audience ko bohot bohot pasand aaya. We take this moment to thank Siddharth, producers Sajid and Krishika, and the entire crew of 'Anjaanee. This is a jubiliant victory for the rising starlet. Ladies and gentleman, I welcome PC to take the award for *the most* kissable star. A decade after winning the most coveted Miss World title, the daughter of Dr.'s Madhu and Ashok Chopra is the # 1 starlet in Tinsel town.


On a ligher note, who could have thunk from her childhood pics that this little girl from a rather middle class family would reach this dazzling a stature. Do PC's family pics suggested anything different ?